I'm in a bit of a dilemma and don't know where to turn. I'm a 47 year old male. Not sure if I have specific questions or just need to vent. I had a minor heart attack nearly 2 years ago. I went to the hospital and was told I had a 50% blockage of my LAD. Stress test ejection was fine. Over the course of the next 15 months I had 11 more (angina attacks? mini heart attacks?), was diagnosed with unstable angina possibly due to vasospasm. hospitalized 3 more times. Last time was in January then the attacks suddenly went away. Unfortunately the last visit in January showed multiple blockages in a bifurcated LAD artery, 60%, unable to stent due to location. Was scheduled for triple bypass, sent home, then the surgery was cancelled because Medi-Cal would not cover the surgery. The good news is I've now gone 7 months and the angina has disappeared completely. The bad news is I was told I cannot have the surgery unless it's an emergency (in other words I need to have a heart attack). Now I have another problem. rectal bleeding. My father had colorectal cancer. I need a colonoscopy but I need to go off my blood thinners for 7 days which of course is asking for a heart attack. Is it possible that a heart attack will never come? I know I can't ask for medical advice on here, but can anyone recommend resources? Studies to give me hope? Maybe a plan of action? I'm young and other than my heart am in relatively good shape. I want to live. Any response is greatly appreciated.