a woman steps gingerly out of a cloud with closed doors into a bright space with open doors.

Living the Dream

I’m a dreamer! Not the kind that dreams big and has set goals. I mean when I lay down for bed, dreams always come to me. Sometimes I couldn’t wait until bed just so that I could go into dreamland. I could dream something and it would happen in real life. I call it my personal communication with God. I dreamed so much I started dreaming - if you know what I mean.

Daydreaming

I didn’t really set goals but I became hopeful. Many days I laid in bed hoping and wishing for a different life. Dreaming of the day I could walk up a flight of stairs without getting tired. Wake up and feel the energy needed to complete my tasks for the day. I can remember waking up from dreams where I wasn’t bound to heart failure. I was able to live a normal life. I started to dream about it so much, it turned into daydreaming.

I would just sit in bed imagining myself pulling luggage through the airport to get on a plane to travel the world. I'd speak at engagements talking about my life and heart disease. I went as far as imagining myself on a huge platform speaking to thousands of people at one time. Chest out and proud because I accomplished what I was here to do. I daydreamed about days where I could dress up with my siblings and go out and be full of energy.

I would usually hang out with them but a good 45 minutes later I was fatigued and drained. I would always find a seat somewhere and wish for their energy. I can recall times going to grocery stores, telling my mom what I wanted, and just sitting at the front waiting for her to finish shopping because walking around the store was never successful. It would take me days to recover.

My dream

After I was diagnosed with heart failure, my life changed forever and at times I was hopeless. Then one day I wasn’t - I chose to stop dreaming and live in my reality, disability and all. When I shifted my heart and mind, I started living the dream, my dream! I did this until it became my reality! It was as if God was sitting back, waiting on me to step out on faith.

For many years I attended a women’s group, and one day I received a call offering me the position to be the leader of the group. Nervous, unsure, scared, but excited, I said yes! In that position, many doors opened for me and I was fortunate to live out my dreams. The daydreams of traveling to tell my life story talking about heart disease changed to me living the dream. Almost everything I thought would never happen all became possible and blew my mind.

When you deal with heart disease/heart failure life is limited. Some days you are hopeful, others you are hopeless, and for me, hopelessness started to drown me. With my heart transplant, I was given another shot at life.

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our privacy policy. We never sell or share your email address.

More on this topic

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Heart-Failure.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

or create an account to comment.