Feeling Like a Burden with Heart Failure

Feeling like a burden because of heart failure is one of the hardest feelings to overcome. You may feel that everything is your fault and people have to rearrange their activities because of you.

I was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy which later turned into advanced heart failure. The whole time I was dealing with feeling like a burden because of my many limitations. It even got to a point where I thought my family was not inviting me to certain events because they did not want to be the ones responsible for me.

Often it is just in our heads that we are burdens to our family and friends. I feel that when a person has a sickness they may become emotional and start feeling like people are leaving them out of plans on purpose.

Feeling like a burden on family because of heart failure

I couldn't be alone

I remember after I had my first stroke my parents were afraid to leave me home alone so my grandmother would have to drop what she was doing to come stay with me. I felt bad because here I was a full-grown and functioning adult who needed her grandmother to babysit her in case I went into cardiac arrest.

When I suffered my 2nd stroke and my right side was in paralysis so I couldn’t do anything myself. That included bathing myself so my mom had to bathe, lotion, and dress me because I couldn’t do it. There were times when my cousins wanted to do something but they had to accommodate me and I felt a burden.

Spending holidays in the hospital

I felt very bad when I was in the hospital during Christmas and New Year when my immediate family had to come there because I was there. Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to spend their holidays in the hospital. It’s very depressing, but in all actuality, I should have been grateful that I had family there visiting me. Walking around in the cardiac ICU you realize how blessed you are. Many people had no one visiting them, and I had people being turned away because I had so many visitors.

Romantic relationships

When it came to dating I always wondered, "who would want to be with someone who has heart failure?" When I was first diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy, I was in a relationship and the relationship did not last because I thought I was a burden. I could not do the things I once did before and to make matters worse I couldn’t get pregnant because my heart couldn’t handle a pregnancy. So, he eventually broke up with me and I thought it was my fault. But the truth is that you are not a burden to the right person.

Accepting love and support

Making someone feel seen and wanted is very important to someone dealing with heart failure. We may feel like we need to be doing things alone. We may not like to ask for help because we will feel burdensome. Our society is based on independence and when you can’t do things for yourself you feel bad for asking for help.

I stopped feeling like a burden when I realized that my family loves me and that’s why they do the things they do. I stopped seeing myself as a victim and realized that I needed the help and there was nothing wrong with that. When I was vulnerable, sick, and unable to do things for myself, like I normally could if I were healthy, they were there to help me.

Appreciation and gratitude for caregivers

It's important to let people know how you are really feeling and have open communication with them. Ask them if there is something that you can contribute or something that you could do.

You should not feel like a burden with heart failure, and although it may be challenging, you can make it through it by showing your caregivers how much you appreciate them.