Adult female looking at angry bull in fear of pain. Heart, chest pain, pacemaker, shock.

The Shock (Part 1)

Editor's note: This is part 1 of a two-part series. Be sure to check out part 2!

Experiences are really a beautiful thing. It's nice to hear other people's experiences to take yourself to a place that they have already been. Using your imagination and feeling the passion through their words is powerful. It’s an even better feeling when you are the one telling the story with passion, allowing someone to enter into your world and your experience, hearing your story all from your point of view.

Pacemaker story

The first time I experienced someone telling me a story with passion and making me use my imagination was at the age of 17 years old. I was scheduled to get a pacemaker and just so happened to met a young girl that had one. Being fearful and nervous to have the procedure, I felt that talking to her would give me some kind of ease, and it did!

My first question to her was 'Were you scared to get the pacemaker?' She told me yes, and went on to say she still had fear about the pacemaker because the shock felt like a bull kicked her in her chest. That's nothing you would want to experience and that didn’t feel good hearing at all, but somehow I felt that my experience would be a little different.

Worried and overhwlemed

I went back into the house a bit worried and overwhelmed. The main reason was that I was getting ready to be cut for the first time in my life. I worried if I would make it out of surgery and if the pacemaker would do what the doctors expected it to do. Would I recover well? If my pacemaker went off, would I feel like a bull was kicking me in my chest?

I personally didn’t know what that felt like but I could imagine watching TV when the bull takes off out the gate and you have to use all you had to hold on. I remember one time when you guy fell off he broke his arm and his face was bruised, so a kick in the chest was something I just wasn’t ready to experience. I weighed 121 lbs. at the time and since most of that weight was in my height, I didn’t know how this would work out.

No idea

Doctors told me that I would get shocked and pass out because the shock would be so impactful, but that’s normal. Living with the fear and anticipation of all the things that were told to me was a challenge in itself. It brought about a lot of anxiety and focus on the unknown. My first shock was 3 to 4 years after my surgery so just imagine every day for years worried about if and when a shock would come.

The day had finally come, but I had no idea it would happen that day. I woke up feeling good, excited, and ready for what my day was going to bring. Later that night we were going to church for a revival and that alone made me happy because I’m a church girl at heart.

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