Beyond the Loss: Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone to Find New Connections

When you are diagnosed with an illness such as heart failure, the loss of some friendships is inevitable. The loss of friendships is something that most heart failure patients must deal with.

I spoke of this a few years ago when I was grieving and speaking about the loss of friendships.

In an article I wrote called "The Loss of Friendships Due to Heart Failure", I likened losing friends to the saying that not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, and only for a season, either to teach us a lesson or a blessing. I wrote about how, when I got diagnosed, even my significant other left, and all the people who I thought were friends weren’t even checking on me. Since then, I have been making an effort and stepping out of my comfort zone to make new friends.

Stepping out of the comfort zone: From bachata to new friendships

One day while sitting in a coffee shop, I started to think about what activities interest me. What things did I want to learn or do? Things that I could do by myself or with other people.

I immediately thought about my goal of learning how to do Bachata. It had been something I wanted to learn. One day while scrolling on social media, I saw an ad that was promoting Bachata classes on Tuesdays. After the class, they hold a social so you can dance and practice with the other students.

I reached the parking lot and just sat in the car. I was so nervous that I was shaking. Then I took a few breaths and got out of the car and walked into the lesson. After class, I met, danced, and socialized with some people that I’m still friends with today. If I hadn’t gotten out of my comfort zone, I wouldn’t have made some new friends.

Finding connection in unexpected places

One of my cousins lives in Ireland, so his sister and I thought it would be fun to go visit.
 
We planned to go on an excursion to see the Blarney Castle and Blarney Stone. In Ireland, the Blarney Stone is known for giving everyone who kisses it the gift of gab or the gift of speaking with persuasive charm. We woke up early that morning and met with the tour group in Downtown Dublin. When we got to Blarney Castle to kiss the stone, it was going to take us an hour to stand in line. I was willing to wait, but my cousin was not.

I ended up befriending a girl in the line, and we found out that we had some things in common. We both love to travel and explore other people's cultures. She was from Canada, and she was on her first leg of the trip. We took pictures of each other kissing the stone, and we exchanged information afterwards.

Currently, we exchange pictures of our travels, and we are planning a trip together next year that we are both excited for. I am so glad and happy that I decided that I was going to get out there, get out of my comfort zone, and meet new friends.

Practical ways to build new friendships today

Dwelling in the loss of friends doesn’t serve our hearts or our bodies well, so if you are looking to make new friends, I’ve made a list of places to try:

• Church-If you go to church, you can meet people through groups and activities that your church may have.
• Local community centers- A local community center that has activities for all ages. My grandmother used to go to a seniors group at our local community center, and she met many friends there.
• Book clubs/Libraries- Some libraries also have book clubs where they have a book a month. They meet every month to discuss the book. They also have online options for people who can’t meet in person. The same goes for school and classes.
• School/Classes-Finding a class, like I did, on a topic that interests you, can connect you with new friends!

Moving forward with hope

What I have learned is that you have to be proactive if you want to make new friends.

Purposely putting yourself out there, but also being safe if doing so. To be clear, I’m not saying go to these places and befriend everybody, but it gives you the opportunity to talk and converse with other people.

Losing out on friends isn’t the end of the world, and there is hope for new friendships.